


Persistence of Her Hope

by sunlitflowers



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mild Soulmate AU, Minor Character Death, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlitflowers/pseuds/sunlitflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TITLE CHANGE. it was formerly 'in progress'</p><p>Following the death of her mother, Belle hasn't been the same ever since. Everything in her world is quite dark, including the once hopefulness about an arranged marriage. Her low expectations towards the situation are slowly thwarted as she finds a new light in an unexpected place: her husband to be.</p><p>still-searching47 posted on tumblr about "the two arranged actually fall in love" or something akin to those lines (link: http://bit.ly/29K6rAE) and I took it up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The silk lavender fabric of the long a-line dress slipped over the pinned up chestnut curls of Avonlea’s darling princess. She lowered her hands when Ruby was finished adjusting the dress so every angle looked like it was tailored for Belle French instead of being an updated hand-me-down. While scandalous if the gossip lines found out, that wasn’t the top of her list. She’d done nothing but prepare for this event the last few years. When she started her monthly bleedings, her mother Colette pulled her aside and explained it began the next greatest and most important stage of her life. She said when time was right and Belle was fit to reign over the kingdom as Queen, it was law that a man reside next to her as King. Belle was allowed to put five people on the guest list without knowing their names or faces. Each eligible bachelor was given a number and brief description of their valiant efforts. She picked a few soldiers and war decorated heroes, but one she did out of spiteful boredom. Colette had laughed in dear amusement and loved her choices. She assured that whoever won her daughter’s heart was the luckiest man of all. She said she couldn’t wait. 

What Colette had failed to mention, was that she would have to die for all of this to happen. She passed in an earthquake that also took several other loved ones around their kingdom. Belle was given the alloted time to wear black for a year to mourn. She learned that time was not medication. Losing a mother was the worst possible thing in the world. Every single morning, Belle waited for her mother to join her for tea in the garden. Colette didn’t show anymore to read her to bed. The beauty had gone from Belle’s world and she didn’t feel anything anymore to get it back. Her father loved her, of course, but Maurice couldn’t fix this. Ruby was just a baby when she lost her own parents and didn’t know how to offer any kind of sympathy. But her grandmother, Martha, the leader of the royal hunt, did understand. She’d lost her brothers many moons ago and then a son in Ruby’s father. Martha promised Belle would be able to laugh again. She’d be able to smell her mother’s perfume without bursting into tears. Her ribs would stop cracking when the heels on marble floor didn’t belong to Colette. Belle would adapt.

Adapt she had. Belle delayed choosing a husband and getting married for an extended period of time to be able to go to study abroad. She studied books and the flora and fauna of the world. This party was to celebrate her coming home, but she knew that it was to meet the man her father had chosen. They wouldn’t care about her accolades of achievement in pursuing an education that now decorated her vanity. All they wanted was a bride from a kingdom that had suffered great hardship following that earthquake. The men lusted more for a girl that had a nice body than one with a face and intellect which could hold a conversation. She’d heard all about it. Primarily from friends who had gotten scorned by lovers in favor of a younger and primer thing. It didn’t matter how devoted a woman was to her man or country or how much the people loved her kind heart. All the King and suitors and arranged husbands worried for was an heir given by the perfect woman. Belle was in her early twenties. By all means, she was too old for anything. Whoever Maurice had agreed to let marry his daughter must be desperate for kingdom or child. She didn’t know which was worse. 

Belle wanted a companion. Someone she could laugh and have a decent conversation with over breakfast. If they both hated this predicament and grew to be friends that would be perfect. All they were truly required was one night to consummate the marriage. If he could grant her time to get to know him and how he was going to treat the kingdom, she could push through with it. Belle didn’t like thinking about the possibilities that Maurice had found her one good husband. Maurice hardly knew her at all and it didn’t do good for her to daydream about things that were never going to happen. He wasn’t going to own several copies of a book just because it was his favorite or a different edition. He wasn’t going to try and enchant her with lovely and kind words. Nothing he told her was going to be true. He would never love her. Heroic, of course. Good, perhaps. But never a husband. And that was all fine and dandy for her. She wouldn’t be a wife.

The masquerade mask on her face hid the fact that she was near tears once more. Many years ago, Belle believed in the graciousness of humanity. She’d fight for it day in and day out. People had it in them to do the right thing. But no longer. This world had taken Colette and sent Belle out into the world like she always wanted. What she found was that it was just as dark and terrible as where she came from. People killed each other for no erasing. The loves of their lives left when they gained a little weight or got sick and changed appearance. She looked for a light all of the time and found it dangling right in front of her eyes as though she were an angler in the deep blue sea. It was right there, but she could never touch it. As the days went on and she was shown darker and more evil things, the light began dimming. She had to tell herself day by day that it was going to be better the next time she woke up. It was hard. Things were hard.

Belle walked out onto the upper balcony overlooking the guests residing in the ballroom below. She wasn’t ready to do this. She took a deep breath in then exhaled. She could do this. Her kingdom needed a ruler and to do that she had to get married. When she opened her eyes, there was a man standing in front of a portrait that had been covered with a black sheet. He wore black leathers and a white plague doctor mask. 

“Is the party so boring?” Belle asked, walking over to him. She hoped she hadn’t been seen by the other guests. She was meant to be making her entrance right now. She crossed her arms over her chest and stood by.

“These things tend to be.” He answered, but she didn’t think he was actually aware anyone else was there.

“This is my first.” The long nose of his mask turned towards her. His hair was sleeked back and tied with a band, but the waviness wasn’t staying as tight as he might had hoped. 

“It’s a pleasure, Your Highness.” He started to bow before she stopped him.

“I’m at quite the disadvantage here not knowing who you are?”

“Yes, that must be the issue with planning a masquerade ball.” 

Belle’s cheeks flushed a gentle shade of pink beneath the rouge. She hoped it wasn’t noticeable. “Hence the question.”

“Do you really want to know, dearie?” His brown eyes must have hit the light in a strange way, because they glistened amber. She studied him seeing his skin a strange texture. He cleared his throat and she realized she’d stared.

“Yes. I do.” 

“Oh, it’s too early for the I do’s, dearie.” He leaned forward where he was right near her face. “Let’s get to know each other a bit better first.”


	2. Chapter 2

Belle stood back in shock at this development. This man couldn’t possibly be one of the men she may be betrothed to. He was her father’s age and then some. But…she was drawn to him, wasn’t she? He wasn’t the tall, strong and muscular looking type. He was her height, if just a little taller when she wasn’t in heels. 

“Your powers of observation must be outstanding.” 

“I’m just having trouble understanding why my father would choose someone as…aged as I am.” 

“If I weren’t I might be offended at your statement.” He placed a hand on his chest to feign this hurt. Belle steadied him with a look. “It doesn’t matter. Old King Moe didn’t choose me. You did.”

She scrunched her face when he tapped her nose. “I was hardly a teenager. What I looked for then I don’t know.” 

“So I hear. But!” He clapped his hands together then offered her the bend of his arm. “The rest of your chosen suitors have married. Those downstairs are ones Moe picked. So, may I walk you down?” 

“Oh? What name were you under, then?” She tested to see if she could get him to spill it. 

“Not name, dearie. Number. 7-15-12-4.”

“Gold?” He positively beamed that she’d caught that quickly. She felt a little twinge of pride. Belle took his arm.

“Precisely! My, you are a smart one.” He praised, patting her hand. She might have been joyous over the compliment, but remembered he was trying to marry her for his own gain. He would say anything. 

“Announcing the long awaited revival of the beautiful Princess Belle and her…escort!” 

“I wish we were in a French speaking country. Just to hear him say belle Princesse Belle.” Gold whispered in her ear as they passed the herald. A gracious smile placed on her face, but she did feel a little amused at his comment. His Scottish accent mangled with the French and it still sounded just as lovely. 

Belle descended the stairs as though she were an angel floating down clouds. Not a fairy, Mr Gold thought to himself as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was a diamond above those glamorized lightning bugs. Being on her arm was just as good as saying that they were married. Nobody in all of the land had seen her since she left to further her education. Last they’d seen her, Belle was a grieving and heartbroken young lady. Now she was a very sad heartless woman on the arm of a man she had just met. What terrible things they must think of her, Belle worried. She could hear their whispers all around as if they were speaking directly into her ears. Unlike in her better years, it didn’t scare her anymore. People were going to talk whether she was with someone or not. She supposed she should be lucky enough that she could handle it unlike so many others. 

King Maurice ‘Moe’ French walked up to his daughter and hugged her tight. They had seen each other, of course, within the time that she’d been home. Belle had spent many a day holed up in her room doing nothing much other than reading and worrying. Some thought she was still sulking, but she wasn’t. At least, she didn’t feel like she was. That would mean crying so hard that she couldn’t breathe and her lungs were about to cave in on her. That’s not what she did anymore. Belle was just…there. Same as she had been at school. She got wonderful marks and went out with her roommates when they wanted, but she never made an effort to actually be where she was. School friends thought that was just her; quiet, shy and dainty and rather a book reader than a partier. The seldom times they asked if she was okay, Belle got annoyed with them. On a particular bad day, she would get mad that they didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong. People like ruby and Maurice and Martha and everybody at home knew this wasn’t Belle. Not the version they knew of her. 

“Belle! My, how you’ve grown.” 

“Monsieur LeGume, comment allez-vous?” Belle greeted in his native tongue with a small curtsy. Mr Gold stood behind with his hands held tight at his front. 

“Ah! Votre français est très bon. Going to be very beneficial when you marry my son, Gaston.” Mr LeGume motioned towards his son, a Parisian Duke. Belle’s smile was strained and she nodded.

“She’s not going to like him enough to marry him.” Mr Gold came to her rescue. He wrapped an arm around the small of her back. 

“Let the girlie speak for herself, yeah?” There was the voice Belle was looking for. The ‘nice guy’ that wasn’t really. He took her hand and kissed it with a wink. “I am Keith of Nottingham, England.” 

“That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard in my life.” Gold’s lack of a filter should have been annoying, but she found herself fighting back a laugh.

“As opposed to what?” Gaston leaned forward to pull Mr Gold’s mask back, but the shorter man whipped out a cane from nowhere. It landed on the side of Keith’s hand and pushed it away. 

“Oh, she really isn’t going to like you.” Mr Gold said with a widespread grin revealing tiny little teeth. The music started playing a little louder and Gold turned his attention back towards Belle. “Care to dance, dearie?”

“Uh, sure.” 

Belle took his hand in hers and lead him towards the main floor. Guests parted like the Red Sea for the princess. He twirled then held her against his chest. For a little while, she went through the motions. She was passed around from potential suitor to potential suitor without feeling anything for them or about dancing in general. When one of their hands traveled across her bottom she didn’t even do anything. This was just how things went. She was a lady of the royal court, Princess to them all, but they didn’t care. Getting here ass grabbed was the least of things that was going to happen whenever she was married to one of them. Then something strange happened. One swatted her behind and she had flinched at the surprising act. When she looked over her shoulder to see who had done it, she saw four roses just randomly in the floor. Feeling a hand press into her back and stroke her hair, Belle knew instantly who it was. She didn’t know what had happened to half of her suitors (a drunk guest claimed they spontaneously combusted into the rose!) but was pleased to be with Mr Gold.

Their dancing was more of stepping in rhythm while in a warm embrace. It was comfortable. Except for that nose of his mask’s. Frustrated with getting it tangled in her hair, she pushed it off of his face and let it drop to the floor. Mr Gold didn’t seem to notice. She closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying his warmth as they were pressed to each other. Neither heard the gasps and whispers and curses tossed his way. If he’d left then to never see her again, Belle would have never discovered his identity. Instead, during her very brief lapse in judgment, she reached up and caressed his cheek. She felt something like callouses on his face. While that truly didn't bother her if his appearance wasn’t that comparable to Keith or Gaston’s, she was worried for him anyway. Mr Gold dipped her back and she gasped, chest heaving and heart thudding in fear seeing that none other than the Dark One looking back at her. She removed his hold, but he caught and stood her up before she could fall onto the floor. 

“What are you doing here?” Her brows knitted at the feeling of betrayal and hurt. Why? She hadn’t thought she’d known this man anyway. 

Belle watched the emotion drain from his face as he reached up to touch his skin. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. He licked his lips then a smile spread across his face. “I was invited. Remember?” 

“Why were you even on that list? You don’t need-” Anything, Belle realized. Why would the most powerful man in the universe be on an eligible bachelor’s list? He had everything: many, power, notoriety. Was he…alone? He had been gentle with her. He’d defended her. He was different. He’d also turned her other suitors into roses. Possibly for touching her. She was at a bit of an impasse.

“Guards! Detain him!” Maurice shouted. 

“No!” Belle stood between him and those who wished him harm. 

“Belle, move! You don’t know what he’s done!” Gaston unsheathed his sword, ready to fight alongside Keith. 

“Of course I do!” Did they really think she was so simpleminded? 

“Nothing that wasn’t asked for.” Mr Gold smiled, proud of himself. Belle shot him a look, but that gave her an idea. 

“Which is why I’ve asked him to marry me. This is a favor.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Marry him? Starlight, you cannot be serious right now.” Maurice was in shock. Never mind the Dark One was going to rule the kingdom if this was real, it was going to marry his daughter. And she honestly had looked so happy dancing with him just a moment ago.

Belle subtly motioned for Mr Gold who was not nearly as dumbfounded as the rest of them. He did step forward and she wrapped her arms around his torso to show how totally happy with her decision she was. A smile stretched onto her face tacked there by the fear of not being believed. He must have sensed that plan, because a protective arm was back around her. That feeling hadn’t been one she knew too well. It was in the air around him. He would keep her safe. He would keep the kingdom safe. That was the most important part. Not the nice and soothing paradoxical feel of his coarse thumb against the back of her neck when he moved his thumb.

“You can’t possibly have chosen him.” Gaston scoffed, shaking his head. 

“I told you she wasn’t going to like you.” Gold’s smile spread even further at this victory. 

“But he’s…he’s-!”

“The ogres are on the horizon and what better protection than the Dark One?”

“And you agreed, just like that if she married you?” Maurice worried. Gold nodded, almost excitedly. “It’s never that easy.”

Gold looked to the woman on his arm and removed her mask. He held her cheek with his hand much like she’d done to him. “Who could say no to this face?” 

“Belle French. What would your mother think?” Gaston’s father commented, flabbergasted more than anyone. 

Belle tensed as ice intercepted her veins. She couldn’t breathe. All she could see from that comment was Colette standing before her angry and crying. Mother always only taught her to follow her heart and do what was best for her. She couldn’t be here right now and deal with this. All she wanted was for someone to help protect the kingdom she didn’t believe she was ready to rule. Mr Gold could do that. There was no one better. He had all power and money and ability in the world. He’d done it once before. Belle didn’t necessarily trust him, but she believed in what he could do for her. What he’d already done. Colette would want that for her, wouldn’t she? Belle didn’t know for sure anymore. As she backed away, Gold relinquished his hold but caught her hand. She barely heard he’d be up to wish her good night before she continued up the stairs. 

Ruby attempted to help Belle undress, but the Princess was already fumbling over it herself. She stripped down to her knickers and wrapped a robe around her shoulders to sit at the vanity. Ruby hugged her dear friend’s shoulders before removing the pins and makeup. Nearly all of the members of the household and royal court had watched Belle dance with the men and have them end the same way. Except for one. They had made bets that was who Belle was going to choose. When it was revealed that he be the Dark One, Ruby was the only one who still believed she would look beyond the bad and still choose him. She believed that Belle had done the right thing and that helped a little. They kissed goodnight and Ruby walked out after making sure Belle was going to be okay for the night. When she opened the door, Mr Gold was already standing on the other side of it. He gave a salute and motioned her away. When Ruby was gone, she left the door opened. Belle curved her lips inward to calm down then smiled. 

“Come on in.” She motioned. Belle turned her head away and wiped the corners of her eyes. He stepped in and pulled the door to. Not shutting it all the way, but enough to give them space from the world that hurt her.

“Say the word and you’ll have him as a pet slug.” 

“I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to think about anything right now.”

“Mm, I can help you with that. Sure. Come here.” Gold held out his hand and beckoned for her.

“You can’t fix everything, Gold.” 

“Wouldn’t dream it, dearie. Come here.” Belle stepped forward with a huff, arms crossed over her chest. She waited for the magical spell to clear her mind of what hurt. But he didn’t. Mr Gold wrapped his arms around her small frame and brought her into his chest. 

“What are you doing.”

“I know telling you this pain is universal doesn’t help a thing. It does not go away. But you know what?” He raised her chin to face him. 

“What?” 

“She loves you.” 

“Loved. She’s gone.” 

“I don’t think so.” Belle stared at him in shock. He reached down for the photo frame on her desk and held it up to the mirror. “You take after her.”

Belle sputtered, tears falling down her face as she saw how exact she and her mother looked. The painting had been done three days before the wedding when Colette was just eighteen. People told her that at the funeral, but she didn’t listen. If anything that had only made it worse.

“I know this pain. I’ve been the cause of it a few times.” This was not the voice of the eccentric, no filter man from downstairs. It was deeper and more real. Regret. He held her face and thumbed away the droplets of water. “Now tell me what would make you happy right now?” 

Belle took his hands in hers. She studied them instead of his face out of timid embarrassment. She watched the bones in his hands move as he squeezed hers in support. “First tell me what I owe you for this favor.” 

“For marrying you? Nada, dearie. You may have asked and picked me out of defense, but this an arranged marriage. You are the future Queen and I abide by your law.” He placed her hand to his heart in this moment of sincerity. 

“And what of when you are King?” 

“Then I am your husband and that means your happiness is legally my prerogative.” Belle examined him as he said this. The evil and possessed demon could not only spin cotton into gold. He could do the same with his words. 

“You actually believe that don’t you?” 

When Mr Gold nodded, he looked nothing like how the stories told her. He was meant to be destruction and Hell with every step of his boot. He did not tell a single person what they wanted to hear out of worry for their feelings. If he was bad man to everyone else except for her, what did they actually make him? What were the real reasons behind his actions if he turned men into roses for touching her in the wrong way? Belle walked over to the side of her vanity and pulled on a string. It was far too early for Ruby to actually be asleep she knew. It only took her dear friend a moment before arriving at the door. The slightly older woman had her teeth barred and was ready to pounce. 

“Please see to it that Mr Gold has a room to stay here indefinitely.” 

“Right this way.” Ruby relaxed at the order and nodded. She didn’t like the man anymore than the next person, but was moderately obedient. Belle trusted him enough to be here. If he stepped one long fingernail out of line, it wouldn’t be too hard to get him back on track. That also meant maybe, perhaps, Belle was coming back.

“Goodnight, Your Majesty.” Mr Gold bowed, kissing her hand. “You know where I am if you need anything. I’m at your disposal.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Mr Gold. And welcome to Avonlea.” Belle gave the smallest of curtsies.


	4. Chapter 4

_Courage is not the absence of fear, starlight. It’s the judgment that something else is more important than fear._

It was Colette’s reason for why the true heroes in storybooks were always the least likely. Belle had only ever heard it from her, but now the voice was in Maurice’s. She had woken up in the middle of the night and was unable to sleep. Instead of trying she decided to venture downstairs and take a look around the castle to see if anything at all had changed. The guests were all gone except for Gaston and Keith. They were staying at the old stable house on the castle grounds. The excuse was that they had so far to travel, but Belle knew it was for her to get to know them instead. If she didn’t want to be Queen all it would take was her saying so. She’d be out of this arranged marriage and never have to worry about expectations or pretty much anything else ever again. The throne would go to Gaston, her grandmother’s (through marriage) nephew. If, perhaps, he could show his true heart and get her approval, Belle wouldn’t have a problem with that. At least, she thought she didn’t.

The walls of the throne room were lined with the past Kings and Queens. All of their blood flowed through her. Her ancestry could be traced back for centuries and they were all right before her. She hadn’t known any of them aside from her own grandparents and mother and father, but the stories were not lacking. They lead the people of Avonlea with grace, strength, intelligence and determination. There may have been one or two that didn’t have the most charming aspect, but they recovered the personality flaw with humor and wit. Breaking that circle for her own selfish gain did not feel right. She’d hardly known Gaston or Keith long at all. To leave them in charge of her country would actually be one of the worst mistakes of her life. At least with Mr Gold she knew he had the ability to stop wars. He had shown the ability to pretend to be a normal human being. She could do this. For her mother, she could do this.

Belle felt a surge of affection out of nowhere followed by the sensation that she was being watched. Looking around she saw nobody and blamed it on the eyes of the portraits judging her for continuously doubting herself this way. She made her way back upstairs to bed. She and Mr Gold would have their first public outing in the morning and she needed to look the part. She had to make all of her country fall in love with him so she didn’t have to. She had no intent of making another person change for her. She just needed to come up with ways that would accentuate whatever good side Mr Gold had. They needed her to marry before her next birthday. Not a long time at all, but she had to make this work. She could not give up her home again.

After dressing in something she could walk around in and be the pretty delicate looking princess, Belle went to Mr Gold’s room. Ruby had placed him at the end of the same hall she was on. Unusual, considering no guests were ever allowed to stay on the same floor. Not unwelcome if he wanted to keep his promise of being there when needed. She dusted herself off and rose a hand to knock when the door was opened. She had assumed that the leathers he wore the night before were just part of costume. He wasn’t wearing the same black kind, this one’s vest was red, but it did appear as though that was what he wore. Mr Gold looked at her as though they were already in the middle of a conversation. His brows raised as his eyes scanned over her. 

“We have to be seen together.” Belle gave the nutshell version of why she was there. “Would you like to join me on a walk?” 

Mr Gold leaned back and glanced out the window in his room. He straightened then looked at her. “It’s about to storm, dearie. Are you sure?” 

“They say it’s going to hit the river and go around. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’m sure Monsieur LeGume or Sir Nottingham would join me.” Belle shrugged. She turned away after seeing a flicker of a snarl twitch his lips.

The two aforementioned men did join them anyway along with Maurice, Martha and Ruby. The newly-engaged couple walked arm in arm around the castle grounds. Curious people and those that hated Mr Gold for miscellaneous little things spied along the brick wall that kept them out. Or her in, as the saying would go. The temperature dropped as the clouds blocked out the sun. Wind started swirling and Belle shivered just slightly. He conjured a light scarf for her to wear around the neck similar to an ascot. She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes to give their audience a show. Mr Gold gave her a look and pursed his lips as he put a space between them. Her face deflated wondering what could possibly be wrong. She understood the feeling of guilt, but not how it mixed with regret. All she had done was look at him in an attempt to be flirtatious and endearing. She didn’t mean for him to be so offended. 

Belle nudged his shoulder hoping he would lighten up. The moment she did, lightning cracked directly above. Her breath caught in her throat as it sounded identical to glass falling over in the castle. The thunder boomed not unlike the houses tumbling down during the earthquake. She could see it all right in front of her face. Rain sprinkled down from the heavens, but it felt like blood of the fallen on her skin. It had been her fault. She shut her eyes tight and pushed the memory out of her mind. When she opened them, she saw Mr Gold’s chest as he held her under an extension of the castle. She looked around and their company was gone and the I-spies had taken refuge somewhere else. She was completely alone with him. 

“I didn’t cause the thunderstorm.” Mr Gold read her mind. “I was up all night trying to redirect it to avoid this.” Belle opened her mouth to question on what that specifically meant. “It’s good to feel you feeling again.” He added before she could.

“How is that?” 

“That’s the question, isn’t it? Started not too long after the earthquake. I had a pain that just spurred I had not felt in a long time.” He raised his hand to stop her from asking about that right now. “Then I heard the news. When I went to see you to offer my condolences, sure enough that’s where it came from.”

“I didn’t feel anything for a little while.” 

“You still don’t. I thought you’d died. I went to see what in Grimm’s name happened to you. I saw you laughing and everything with your friends, but nothing. I thought it was a fluke. But then you looked into that glass and I knew.”

“You were watching me?” 

“Just the once.”

She was about to accept that as truth when she remembered the night before. The feeling of affection from nowhere, the eyes on her. “You did last night.” 

“I told you I was up all night. I saw you, but I did not watch.” 

Belle furrowed her brows in thought. That emotion she had, could it be from him? As she thought on the possibility of this even making a little bit of sense, she felt it again. She looked up just as he turned his eyes. Eureka. “We should be heading back inside.” 

Every marriage for the last two hundred years in the French family had been arranged. Her great-grandmother and great-grandfather were married for fifty seven years. Belle and Mr Gold sat inside under a glass dome as the rain pit patted above them enjoying tea and lunch. She looked at him and wandered on how to test their feeling what the other felt deeper. She thought of the happiest moment in her life. It was one of few things that could make her smile instantly. She looked at him and watched as he struggled not to smile. Mr Gold gave her a look that actually made her laugh, much to the distaste of Gaston and Keith and Maurice around them. She then thought of funny things in her childhood that had made her genuinely giggle wildly. Not too much longer, Mr Gold was choking on his tea in laughter. She reached over and smoothed a hand against his back to help ease him. As soon as Belle did, a bolt struck of something strong went right through her chest. She thought she had gotten struck by lightning without any of the pain. It was good. She wanted to live in it. That place was safe.

Belle cleared her throat to bring herself back down. This may be fun and they share a common strange bond, but it did not mean they could actually be anything. That wasn’t a requirement for husband and wife. “I think we should announce the engagement tomorrow.” 

“I’m sure the lack of a ring worthy of your beauty would put the people’s mind at ease that your marrying…that.” Gaston said this just as Belle bit into something strange. Mr Gold smiled at her apparent surprise and looked to her pulling a ring from her mouth. Perfect in clarity with a gold band and rose colored diamond at the center.

“Where in the world did you get this? I’ve never seen a jewel this color.” 

“I’ll take you there for the glorious honeymoon.” She knew he stated this just to annoy the suitors, but it still amused her at the thought they’d have anything more than a night alone together to celebrate a wedding. She gave a gracious smile and let him slip the ring on her finger. The ring of her dreams.

“Ruby?” Belle called for over her shoulder. “Would you ask Martha if it’s clear enough for archery lessons today? We might as well get them over with.”

“Shooting lessons? I didn’t know you were the sport. I’d say you should leave it to the husband, but…” Keith trailed off with a snicker.

“You should join her for target practice then.” Mr Gold retorted with his chin held high. 

“Belle doesn’t shoot a thing.” Gold muttered a ‘not yet anyway’ under his breath at Maurice’s acknowledgment. “It’s for the eve of her coronation. Symbolic. To light the way in darkness.” 

“Oh, but the darkness can be quite welcoming if you can adapt.” A little bit louder for the table this time.

“As if you could!”

“Dearie.” Mr Gold flicked his wrists and every light in the castle extinguished. “I _am_ the darkness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Courage is not the absence of fear. It's the judgement that something else is more important than fear" is taken from the Princess Diaries 2.


	5. Chapter 5

Unable to even be near Mr Gold, Martha Lucas wouldn’t take her chances of showing up and saying something that could get her fired. Instead, Fa Mulan made an appearance. The warrior was an old friend of Belle’s and trained her from a young age after her own final battle. Belle rushed forward seeing Mulan and embraced her in a tight hug. It took Mulan a moment, but she did reciprocate. Mr Gold frowned from the sidelines as he noted that Belle was actually numb towards this interaction. She was just doing the motions. Mr Gold side and took a seat beneath a tree to read something while Belle practiced. Gaston and Keith took to the sidelines to watch the women with a little bit of everything except for appreciation to their abilities. Belle was a far better fencer than an archer, but the craft was still entertaining. Except for when she shot the apple Keith was eating out of his hand. Then it was the most wonderful thing Mr Gold had ever seen.

“Perfect form, dearie.” He encouraged. Belle shot him a look, but she wasn’t angry. He smiled with a wink and went back to his book. When Belle drew her arrow, it was a rose.

“Gold!” 

Mulan interjected by handing her an arrow. “Focus. This thing is going to be on fire for your coronation and you need to be comfortable with it.” 

“This would be far easier with a sword.” Belle grumbled. 

“Leave that to us. You will never have to wield a sword as long as you had a stronger gent to take care of you.” Keith offered with a modest bow. 

“But instead you’ve gotten one with a crooked little dagger.” Gaston mocked. She looked towards Mr Gold when shame settled in her gut where his emotions resided. He didn’t flinch or show any malice towards Gaston over the innuendo.

“Mulan, thank you for the assistance. It’s getting late and you have a long journey. Go get some rest. I’ll keep practicing.” Belle encouraged. Mulan didn’t argue over this. They both knew Belle could do this anyway. The pair hugged and Mulan left for the indoors of the castle on her own. Belle walked towards Mr Gold with a skip in her step and extended her hand. “You have to do this too. C’mon.” 

“I don’t have to do anything, actually.” 

Belle handed him the bow and arrow. “Take your stance.” 

Gold rolled his eyes, but did as was asked. His back elbow propped up at an angle. She smiled and lowered it just a bit. 

“Touch your mouth.” She explained how to get him to use it as an anchor. She placed a hand over his that held the bow below the arrow. 

“Breathe in.” He did. 

“Release.” He shot the arrow straight at the center of the circle. “Wonderful.” Belle smiled towards him, dusting back the hair from his face. Her thumb lingered on his cheek as she pictured him as a normal man. As soon as she tried, the heat rose to his face just as it did in her belly. She pecked his cheek quickly then turned away. 

This was not the way it was supposed to go. Belle French did not even date anybody when her mother was alive because they were all out for their own purposes. The fact of the matter was she had chosen Mr Gold, the Dark One. Nobody in all the lands of this world went to him and asked for something without having to pay in return. While her first born at this rate would be his child, he’d probably want the baby to be his as payment. Their son or daughter would mean nothing and that was not a price she was going to put up with. Her entire family line may had agreed to arranged marriages where they never loved their spouse, but they did love their children. The next heir in line was always an everlasting knot that tied the two of them together and kept peace within the castle, thus creating peace within Avonlea. She was not going to let Mr Gold show her how warm and comforting the dark could be. She was not going to let their jointed emotions cloud her mind from thinking clearly. She was not going to owe him any favors. He wanted something far worse than companionship. Belle knew it.

They didn’t see much of each other for the next three days in order for the castle to prepare for the garden party which would introduce Mr Gold as the next King of Avonlea. He was never in his room anyway whenever the maid went to clean, according to Ruby, but the stable boys didn’t see him either. Belle didn’t know how he could pop in and out at whim with no one ever noticing and, frankly, she didn’t care. He was free to do whatever he wished. Odds were he planned on it anyway. Belle kept to herself in her room and read until the sun peeked through her gossamer curtains. A strange event started occurring during his absence. When she read about underdog heroes now, she pictured him. Even if they were in their early twenties with blonde hair and baby blue eyes. She would look at the leather chairs in the castle library and think about how or why he chose to wear the fabric as pants so often. She surmised it must be him using his dark arts to enchant her. Of course he didn’t need gentle words. He could just mix a potion into her tea. Or charm her ring. Belle took it off and placed it in her jewelry box. She was not going to be tricked.

Belle sat nearby Maurice with Ruby behind them and the suitors around at the table. Buffets and canopy tents were set up with large bouquets of flowers decorating every single corner. Following the beautiful performance of a very talented opera singer, Belle pointedly avoided sitting by Mr Gold for too long and left to greet her guests. She asked one about her grandchildren and recalled their names. She asked another about their dog and another about their new bride. She was talented at entertaining the room. It was far easier than she had worried about the night before. Growing up in this country with these people had helped her tremendously. As she was in the middle of watching a wonderful game of polo, Ruby walked over and warned her that Mr Gold was currently in a very sour mood. Belle just shrugged it off. Then she heard the sound of glass and figured it best if she handled this now before it escalated into a public relations nightmare. 

“Gold? Go-old!” Belle called as she entered into he ankle-height maze in the back yard. She spotted him by the fountain at the center of it. 

Hiking her legs, she cut through and neared him. She narrowed her eyes seeing that he was swinging that cane against something. She relaxed seeing it was just the ground. He stopped and turned around. His hair was out of its slicked back, smoother style and now wild and splayed with sweat across his face. His shoulders were rising and falling with each quick inhale-exhale. She didn’t think him angry. He looked…hurt. And scared. “What’s going-”

“Where is your ring.”

“It’s in my jewelery box.”

“Why?” 

“I…s-so I didn’t lose it.” 

“Do not lie to me, French.”

“I found out that you were using it to enchant me into wanting to stay near you.” She exhaled, eyes closed. More scared to have been found out. Pain in the form of embarrassment and guilt sat like a heavy boulder in her gut. Belle didn’t understand. She wasn’t wearing the ring anymore, he shouldn’t have this hold on her.

“That earthquake was an accident, dearie. Nobody took your mother. It was nobody’s fault. Stop acting like this world did you wrong.” He spat in her direction. His words were not of anger. They were of hurt and betrayal. Why, Belle wasn’t entirely sure. They hardly knew each other and he was responsible for his reputation. At the moment that didn’t matter. He’d shown his true colors. The mask was officially gone.

“What did it take from you then? I know it’s not possible to be born this ugly hearted. This world creates it. It creates everything bad.”

“You have no right-”

“Neither do you. I don’t want to look at you until the wedding.”


	6. Chapter 6

It took a week for Belle to comprehend a few things. She felt no different towards Mr Gold wearing the ring and not. It actually amplified whatever he was feeling. It was all a big jumble. Like trying to make a sentence using nothing but alphabet soup without any of the vowels. She had learned to figure out where his emotions were situated and where hers were. When he was feeling something, it was in the heart or in the ribs. If it got strong enough (when he was angry or, this one night, fucking terrified of something) it was all over her body. She wanted to go comfort him. She couldn’t tell whose regret had planted in her body, but it had been growing ever since their argument in the garden. After years of being so numb she was suddenly feeling everything.

Yearning was what woke her from a nightmare. Unable to sleep once more, Belle got up and slipped out her bedroom door. She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, but she knew she needed to see Mr Gold. He had lost something in this world that meant as much as Colette meant to her. She wanted to know what that was and what had scared him so much. She wanted to know his first name and where he came from and if he was born like this or cursed. She knocked on the door to her future husband’s room and waited patiently for Gold to open it. She was quiet in awe that he didn’t sleep in his leathers. She swallowed hard seeing the long flowing night clothes hanging off his body. Belle looked at him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He returned it by rubbing her back and letting her walk them into his room. She kicked the door shut with her heel and refused to let him go for the time being.

“Wedding’s not for awhile, dearie.” Mr Gold reminded her of the threat.

“Every thing’s been so awful. I’m sorry.” She apologized. Her fingers pressed into him. “You have some questionable traits, but you’re not ugly hearted.”

“You weren’t too far off the truth with that.” He just didn’t like when it was pointed out to him. “Are you here for something?”

“Not to make a deal.” She lessened her tight hold on him. Belle could accept that Gold didn’t want to talk about things past. She truly didn’t either. “I had a bad dream, but it was a feeling that you were experiencing that graciously woke me.”

“Is that so.” 

“Couldn’t you feel it?” 

“I was asleep until just a moment ago. I have no idea” He nodded towards the bed. Of course. The moon was high across the sky across her journey. 

“Oh.” Her hands slid down his sleeved arms and found his once more. They were nice. Gold had good hands as though he’d been doing work his entire life. 

“You’re wearing it. Is it still cursed?” He felt the cool bend around her finger brushing against his own.

“I’m still not so sure.” It wasn’t an accusation. Belle hadn’t meant to, but she heard the low tone in her own voice. It was one no man or woman alive had ever heard from her. “Do you mind, husband, if I stayed with you tonight?”

“I do not mind, wife.” 

Belle drew back the blankets and crawled in beneath them. Mr Gold stayed above all of the covers to give them the barrier. They weren’t meant to be alone at all. If anyone thought there was something going on between the two she’d be watched like a hawk morning, noon and night. She was almost glad they had not been getting along as they should have as of late. The first meeting was perfect. Nearly everything after had been a farce. As she looked at him that night with the gentle light of the skylight drifting in through the curtains, she saw her husband. His silhouette was perfect. The brown locks above a forehead lined already with wrinkles from both age and years of an expressive face. The bend of his nose and the glistening golden crocodile skin that covered his face. His lips were parted and she was left trying to figure out if he were asleep or not. If it may be strange to kiss him goodnight. 

“I’m so sorry.” His voice so quiet he must have thought she was already asleep to. Getting her answer, Belle leaned forward and kissed his lips.

She may as well had been under a sleeping curse for the last few years because as soon as their mouths touched sparks shot all over her body. Gold’s affection towards her burst in like an unwelcome guest and set up home behind the safety bars of her rib cage. The dam that blocked the river of her love collapsed open and she hoped and prayed he was feeling every bit of this as much as she was. There was no music. There was no climatic build up. Belle wasn’t even one hundred percent on why it was this moment she thought was going to die if she didn’t kiss him right then immediately. As sloppy and as noisy it was, there were few things that ever made her feel as loved. He was pulling her closer. His fingers tangled in her hair and she swore he acted as though he’d been waiting for this moment his entire life. Belle didn’t move too far when it was over. Gold didn’t make her either. She nestled into his neck and draped an arm over his front.

A great parade was held to celebrate and honor the happy couple. A marching band lead things off with dancers following behind and jugglers on the sideline. Princess Belle and the Dark One rode in the carriage with Ruby as their security guard standing on the foot pedestal behind. She waved and kept his hand in hers. She teased him about putting on a happy face and smiled when he made a valiant effort to be taking any of this seriously. Mr Gold followed her gaze when the mood deflated. A group of small children were mocking a little girl for sucking her thumb. As soon as one of the taller boys tugged on her braids and took the crown, Belle ordered for the carriage to be stopped. She hopped out before it actually came to a complete stop and halted Ruby from following. Mr Gold stood and made his way over with her. 

“Did I see you boys messing with her?” Belle asked, but not at all impolitely.

“They were tugging on my braids.” The little girl took her thumb out of her mouth to demonstrate this. Belle looked towards the man who appeared to be residing over all of them.

“Excuse me, these children are?” 

“Orphans, Your Majesty. We try to find homes for them all.” Belle smiled graciously and patted his soldier. 

“How would all of you like to help me celebrate by walking in the parade with us?” Belle asked, motioning for Mr Gold. He stepped forward at her as the children’s excitement at the prospect dimmed seeing him. 

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about Mr Gold. He’s not going to hurt anybody. He’s going to protect us all from the ogres.” This elevated their spirits, but not the adults surrounding them. A few children were held back. Some of them whispered about Belle being stark raving mad and needing to be locked up. “I believe in the man I’ve chosen to marry just as well as I believe in all your children.”

“Is he really gonna protect us, Your Majesty?”

“Yes, he is.” Belle smiled in Gold’s direction as they walked with the children through the main square. 

“Are you two in love?” Another asked.

“We love each other the same way as we love each of you.” Belle covered, but she meant it honestly. She did love her people with all her heart. She knew she was at least meant to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know Belle's canon is that Gold comes to her after a screw up, but i did it this way to show she's beginning to trust him as a source of comfort and friend and accept that he's not ~~like certain other guys~~. hope you can forgive me for that.


	7. Chapter 7

“You were so great today.” Belle praised as they left the carriage to return back into the castle. She took Mr Gold’s hand in hers and laced their fingers.

“Wasn’t I?” His look was that of arrogance as though ‘of course I was wonderful today’. Through their strange connection, he was not at all proud or boastful about it. She leaned forward on her toes to kiss his cheek. 

“Well, aren’t you the most delightful looking couple?” A man Belle had never seen before stood in the foyer. Her guards and Ruby quickly went in front to protect her. She noticed how none were giving the same courtesy to Mr Gold.

“Where are your manners, Hatter?”

“Is he a friend of yours?” Belle inquired, waving the security to step down. 

“I’m afraid I must steal your betrothed away for a time.” 

Belle held tighter to Gold’s arm. “For what purpose?”

“Business, Your Majesty.” Jefferson removed his large top hat and pulled a crystal ball. Belle looked towards Mr Gold for an explanation only to see his face lit up and the feeling of hope surround him.

“Is she ready?” Everything was getting dark and she couldn’t read him anymore.

“She will be.”

“Gold? What’s going on?” She tugged on his arm to bring him back to her.

“I have to go, dearie. Immediately.” Belle looked from Gold to Jefferson, still unsure. Gold’s fingers guided her back to face him. She pressed her lips to his almost pleading for him not to leave her here.

“Come home to me.” She asked, kissing him once more. Gold leaned into that one and held her cheek. 

“Keep the window open.” Belle nodded and kissed him twenty thousand more times before sending him off with Jefferson and a heavy heart. 

Maurice stood by Belle as she put on a brave face to send her husband-to-be off with a strange. She admired Mr Gold as he waved while a cloud of purple smoke gobbled him and Jefferson up then swallowed them whole. He was so beautiful. As soon as he’d gone she was missing him. The warmth, the life, the light back in her days, he’d taken it all with him. Belle had fallen in love with Mr Gold. She could deny it over and over again, but it wouldn’t do any good. He knew how she felt better than she did. Belle was in love. She turned away and kept her strong face on. She placed a hand on her ribs where she could feel his determination. Whatever he was off doing without her, she trusted him. If only the smallest amount. Belle’s love for him would not blind her for the kind of person the Dark One was. She hoped that he knew this.

Belle had foolishly thought that her father may find some way to accept her chosen groom. The rest of the day proved this false. Keith and Gaston followed her around all day and made themselves available to her beck and call. She read on wedding details throughout her family history in the grand library with the window open to enjoy the last remnants of the comfortable cool sunny day. Ruby stayed with and went through bridal gown catalogers to find something appropriate. Down below them out playing in the lawn like children, Gaston and Keith were both practicing fencing while shouting about needing to protect her honor. She knew they knew she could hear them. Having gone against their own formidable opponents once or twice both were quite talented. Belle couldn’t deny that each were strong and handsome as their reputation insisted. But they weren’t her type. They would not try to win her affections. They already assumed they had it.

At dinner they sat around the table listening to war stories from Gaston when he was sent away to battle. Belle smiled graciously at Ruby as the complete and utter boredom settled in. She rolled her neck when anger burned her ribs. She took deep breaths to subside the annoyance. When had their voices sounded so much like nails scraping glass? Why were they so annoying? Belle wanted to poof herself away in her own cloud of smoke just to get away from them. She had every urge that her body could possibly handle to kill them. She wanted them to burn. Belle had never felt this way in all of her life. It was an all consuming rage. She felt the ability, the power to take everything away from them and their worth. It was fire and smoke and despair. But it was creation. All of her anger bore a synonym to revenge. She wanted it. She wanted this deep, lustful power. It felt good in her veins while it sucked from her lungs.

“Belle?” Ruby’s voice cracked through everything. When Belle came back, everything was clear. All that remained was relief and excitement and a lot of hope. 

“Sorry. I just lost my train of thought.” Belle casually answered, reaching for a sip of her wine. Ruby stepped forward and placed a hand to her forehead.

“You’re burning up.” Ruby urged.

“No, no. I’m fine.” Belle assured as she grew more lightheaded by the minute.

“Are you getting sick, dear? You can’t be getting sick. Your wedding is in three weeks!” Maurice made note to point out. Worry then settled into her stomach and she couldn’t figure out what was her and what wasn’t. Perhaps she did need to lie down. 

“Ruby-?”

“Of course. Come on.” 

Ruby helped Belle stand and move upstairs. They took the steps one at a time with Maurice fussing the entire time behind. They went towards Gold’s meant to be room where Belle wanted to be. She lied down in the bed and plead for Ruby to keep the window open. Ruby did but only after Belle was under a dozen blankets to sweat this out. Belle rolled onto her side and shut her eyes. She could sleep this off and whatever her body was rejecting would hopefully be gone. Belle stretched and a simple grumble of his name passed her lips. She hugged pillow into her chest and the smell of his cologne fluttered into her nose. She smiled just slightly and nestled into it. He had always made her feel better. She drifted off to sleep with thoughts in her head only of him. In all her moments lately he was there to soothe her. Belle smiled as Ruby brought in a wash cloth and placed it on her forehead.

Belle remained there for three days while the sickness drifted in and out making her weaker and stronger. Each night she could feel his kiss on her cheek. When she opened her eyes he wouldn’t be there. She could feel his worry and his affection, but that anger had yet to return. Whatever he was doing he needed to come home to her. She was literally worrying herself sick over him. She didn’t eat and slept far too much. She only bathed when Ruby forced her. Gaston and Keith were outside of her door doing whatever it may take. She sat up to read or stretch her legs and couldn’t keep her eyes open five seconds. She had allowed herself to be captured like the silliest of girls in her book. What changed her so much that she didn’t mind anymore? What made her into one of those girls that needed the lover with such strength?

There was a slight dip in the bed that made her shoot straight up. Mr Gold was there sitting at the edge of the bed. She crawled over to him and hugged him from behind. He placed his hands on hers then looked at her with that smile. It wasn’t perfect. It was hers. She hardly got a whisper out that she had missed him before their lips were attached. Belle drew him closer. He shifted to face her better and let Belle fall into his arms. Gold lifted and brought her back to the headboard. A jumble of praises passed their lips. Her fingers raked through his fine and soft hair. Thin waves as if she had just dipped her hand in an ocean. She wrapped her legs around his waist and positively beamed. 

“Why it is I can’t be parted from you without getting sick, or what the hell happened that first night?” 

“Dark magic, dear heart. You were rejecting it which is actually for the best. My apologies, things had to be taken care of.” Belle rolled onto him and kissed him once more.

“You’re home now. Are you staying?” 

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d make any deal for you to. To let me kiss you and hold you and love you. You’re so beautiful.” She praised, nosing into his neck.

“I want you to come live with me in my castle. It’s still in your realm, but about an hour or so journey from here. For others.” 

“They wouldn’t easily let me go.” It wasn’t that hard of an agreement for her. Having their own place would be perfect. 

“I’m certain it would be traditional after the wedding.” Gold pointed out.

“Would you wait three weeks for that? You must miss home.”

“I’ve waited longer for worse.” 

Belle hugged his neck. “I still want to help carry whatever harms you. You are my husband.”

“And you my wife. What are you worried about?”

“That you won’t be here in the morning.” She looked up to him from his shoulder. Gold moved onto his side and wedged his knee between her legs to tangle them together. He didn’t say anything. He just held and gave her the comfort she needed. Belle relaxed in his hold and fell into sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The universe was back in balance as Belle woke up to a face full of Mr Gold’s hair at the back of his head. She nestled into his neck and kissed where she could reach. He wasn’t happy. Something was wrong. She reached up to brush her fingers against his lips. When he kissed them it was just out of habit to let her know he was awake. She climbed over his waist so she’d face him. His eyes were closed as though trying to shut her and the world out. She still kissed him with her eyes open to watch for a change. His sadness didn’t go away, but it was mixing with something else. He pulled her in so tight she didn’t know whose body she was in. She had to pull away before she lost herself completely. 

“It’s okay. It’s alright.” Mr Gold sat up and let her slip into his lap. He placed his head against her chest and listened to her heartbeat.

“It’s his birthday. It’s his birthday.” Belle furrowed her brows and stroked his cheek. 

“Talk to me.” 

Mr Gold’s birth name was Rumpelstiltskin and he’d been with another woman long ago. This woman gave him a son named Baelfire while Rumpelstiltskin was in training for battle. He’d received a fortune that told him he’d die in the war the very next day, but no matter what he did is son would go fatherless. He was labeled a coward and his first wife left when Baelfire was just fourteen. Rumpelstiltskin and Baelfire lived in absolute squalor where they fought and scraped for every last meal. Rumpelstiltskin met a man he believed a beggar, but found that wasn’t true. He killed the man and obtained his great, dark power. He stopped the wars the first time as he would again when the time came to save her. He started doing terrible things thereafter that Baelfire did not like. He wanted Rumpelstiltskin to be the man he once was. He wanted his father back. A time came when they could go to a land without magic. Rumpelstiltskin promised Baelfire they’d go together. He kept repeating that phrase like a mantra. _I promised. I promised._

Belle craned her neck to kiss at his. “You saved his life. That’s wonderful.” 

“I don’t think I did.” He breathed, still pained. 

“You saved mine too. I’ll help you. Just tell me what you need.” She didn’t know what to say in this situation. He’d always been so not this. Being able to know his emotions had done nothing to show her who the real man she loved was.

“I need you right now?” 

“One second.” 

Belle went over to the vanity and scribbled a note to let Ruby know that they were out and not to be disturbed. She was fine, but something came up and she and Mr Gold needed to get away for a little while. She then went back towards Rumpelstiltskin and helped him stand. 

“Take me where-” Belle started to ask but stopped as she lead him into the moonlight. 

Standing before her no longer was the dangerous and evil imp. His skin of leathers and eyes of jewels were gone. In its place was now gentle skin only altered from age. His eyes the warmest and purest shine of brown. Her breathing changed and she suddenly didn’t know who it was her love burned for. Belle reached up to touch his new face and wondered what it was that had changed him so. He looked at her with absolute confusion and touched his own face. Worry then placed within him and she knew what this must look like to him. She went back into his arms and kissed him.

“You didn’t look as this, I’m sorry. Just a little in awe.” 

Rumpelstiltskin drew his gaze to the mirror and saw nothing different. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the human. “I like you either way.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of.” 

“I’m not going to worry about it tonight.” She took his hands in hers. “Let’s go where I can be alone with my husband.” 

A cloud of purple appeared around them and she clung to him when the ground fell from her feet. When it appeared again, Belle heard the faint click of heels. She looked down to see that they had landed on an elaborate and ornate rug resting atop a marble floor. Her nightgown had been transformed into one of more formal attire as his had. They were in the middle of a great castle near the snowy mountains of the Enchanted Forest. There were a million and one legends about this place, but none of them she noticed could do it justice. It was just as any other castle with what it contained, but monumental in size. He was definitely not marrying her for the money. She couldn’t wait to share this with him. That could wait for another time. Rumpelstiltskin needed her. Belle wanted him.

She glanced at his lips and brushed hers against them. He was still hurting, but she knew she could take it all away for just a little while in an effort to show him that he wasn’t a terrible person. Rumple let her kiss him and stood there absorbing the moment before returning it. She placed his hands on her waist and stood against him. She hummed as they began fighting for a little bit of dominance. Belle parted her lips to exhale and catch another breath again and his tongue darted into her mouth. Even as he broke that boundary that had been crossed multiple times and won in their tiny little game, she still felt as though she had caught him. Her hands went to cradle his face and he pulled her waist closer to his own. Their breathing grew labored as it continued and she broke it off. She moved her mouth across his beautiful flesh and down to his neck. Passion consumed and she suddenly couldn’t see straight.

Belle couldn’t remember how they made it up the stairs, but that’s where they were. Shoes followed and his hands couldn’t leave her body. She never felt more beautiful than in his arms. He gave the smallest of moans and she nearly collapsed. He stood her up and with swollen lips and shaky breath and husky voice dared to ask if she was okay. Unable to answer, she shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck and continued back with kissing him. He smiled and whatever that feeling was that struck and electrocuted shook her entire core. It was a slow motion movement that took her back to the bed. She smiled and adjusted to have him situated between her legs. Rumple scanned over her body, every inch he could see from his vantage point. She leaned forward on her elbows to whisper in his ear. He looked at her, complete shock, awe and a little bit of excitement. All his.

Belle rested in the afterglow while wearing nothing but Rumpelstiltskin’s sheets after a competition of who could praise who more. They had been gone quite longer than they intended but she saw nothing more than this bedroom and the foyer when they arrived. During the actual night of Baelfire’s birthday, after she made due with distraction, he lit a candle and placed it by his bed. Feeling his internal debate, she asked about Baelfire. He must have been waiting on when the right time may be because relief came soon after. She cuddled up against him and listened to the stories. He’d missed Baelfire’s birth, but he was there for everything else. The first steps, the first lost tooth, the first word. He talked about turning Bae’s friends into slugs and squishing them for accidents. How Bae never found out about who really killed his mother. Belle hugged him tighter at this. Rumpelstiltskin was as good as her husband. His past before her was not her business. His future and the person he currently was, was all she concerned herself with.

“We will find him. Do you think he will like me?” 

“Definitely more than he likes me.” Rumpelstiltskin mumbled. Belle moved closer towards him and kissed his shoulder. She wondered if they may have any children together-

“One day.” She couldn’t tell if that was a promise or not, but liked the way it sounded. The possibility made her smile. 

“With or without one that’s ours, my family is perfect with you and Baelfire. Every thing’s been so perfect.” She tried to keep this light. 

“I’ll be here when it isn’t.”


	9. Chapter 9

Belle French woke up on what was to be the happiest day of her life.

It wasn’t.

When Colette had died, it destroyed her and yet Granny warned that was not the worst of it. She was right. The funeral was not the worst pain in the world. She was Belle’s best friend. Whenever she started university, Belle wanted to tell Colette about it. Falling in love with Gold wouldn’t have been so monumental. Her wedding day wouldn’t be a celebration that Belle was living to have one. There was nobody here to help her get ready the way she needed to. As she laid there in bed, unwilling to get up, the entire weight of the world was not on her shoulders or in her her heart. It was all over her body and yet nowhere at all. That she was getting married in just a few short hours should have sent her into a dizzying spiral of premarital jitters and twirling around all night in her gown. But that wasn’t what happened. She’d cried alone in bed.

It wasn’t like Rumpelstiltskin hadn’t tried comforting her either. He’d appeared in her room, sat down next to her on the bed. He petted her hair and kissed her tear stained face. He was wonderful. Belle was the one who pushed him away by rolling over and covering her face with a pillow. She yelled at him to just leave her the fuck alone, every word stabbing her heart as it toppled out of her body. She was desperate for something that he could make her feel. If she would had just opened up and let him in, then her mood would improve by a minuscule amount. But it would have been something. It didn’t happen. She only knew how to call for someone that wasn’t going to answer anymore. Rumpelstiltskin had been there just as he said. It wasn’t his fault.

Everyone else was excited. Belle could hear the entire castle and kingdom abuzz with what was going to transpire. Outside of her windows she could see flower petals of all different shades falling down from the sky. She sat in the bath while her handmaidens washed her hair and cleansed her body. They didn’t say any comments about the love bites crossing her skin. She wouldn’t see Rumpelstiltskin until walking down the aisle by tradition. Of course, if she called for him when alone, he would be there in a heartbeat. If he wasn’t upset with her by now. She leaned her head back and placed a washcloth over her face. Somebody began massaging her temples while another tended to her feet, shins and hands. It was soothing on the body. If only there were a healthy way to do this to her brain. She shut her eyes tight and begged for happiness.

The touching stopped. The bathroom door opened and then clicked back. In came a few steps. This person drew back the washcloth up to her nose. She felt who it was before he even registered what he was doing. Rumpelstiltskin placed a kiss to her lips. He wasn’t happy either. Belle removed the fabric from her face and glanced up at him.

“You were calling for me. Can I join you?”

Belle sat up and moved over, taking note of his attire. He was just in a robe. The interest made her smile. He removed the cover and stepped into the hot water with her. She leaned into his chest, brushing her cheek against him. Lying against his naked body was the warmest, most comfortable place. They were terrible at keeping with traditions. 

“She’ll never meet our children. They’ll never know her.”

“You’ll tell them. They’ll know how wonderful she was. They will never ever wonder.” He moved his hand to her chest. “You are allowed to be happy. You are allowed to feel everything.” 

Hope blossomed in her chest, but she was pushing it away. Her body was trying to reject it. He stroked her hair in small, soothing motions. She was trying. She was trying so hard. Her body relaxed as she drifted into the space between sleep and awake. Rumpelstiltskin kept her head up and laid there with her. Seeing her so calm compared to all of the other emotions she was constantly feeling was amazing. He kissed her chin. He kept her still. He would never leave her alone again. During the honeymoon they would venture on in a few days after their coronation, no one in this universe or any other would be able to look at her. They would spend their days alone where she could be in peace to deal with her inner pain by herself and not to the annoyance of anyone else.

“ I don’t want to be married today.” Her small voice nearly startled him. They didn’t have to be emotionally connected for him to know she was firm in that decision. “You’re not upset?”

“No, dearie. We don’t have to ever be married.” 

“I still want to be with you.”

He kissed her temple to promise this would stay true. “Everything shall remain in your favor.” 

Belle knew that he was getting something out of this or had planned for the eventuality, but didn’t quite frankly care. She had a part in his future and would obtain whatever she wanted to make his visions come true. As long as he wasn’t doing anything completely stupid that would hurt somebody, she didn’t mind. He came home to her and she knew that he was hers. She rose out of the bathwater like a spirit emerging from a body. Every time she moved it was with perfect grace. She stepped from the marble and wrapped a silk floral robe from her body before extending his to him. Her hair fell to the midsection of her back and Gold was drawn to every line of her body. He’d seen her before, but never really looked when she was doing something so small. He needed to look at her more. He went through the motions of helping her into the breakfast dress that had been laid out for her. While she fixed her hair, Gold changed into an outfit of his own. Their hands locked in each other’s, they left the bathroom.

The man, Jefferson she recalled his name, was standing at the end of the hall in front of the covered portrait of her mother. She squeezed Gold’s hand. She needed him with her today to tell the people she was not marrying anybody at the time and that she was going to rule them alone. Gold looked to her and somehow made things feel better by giving a short, curt nod. Belle thought he was going to have her wait a moment, but that’s not what happened. He pulled her along and it registered within her suddenly that was a big deal for him. She stayed right beside him as his equal who he had let in more than almost any other human being. 

“Sorry to interrupt the happy morning.” Jefferson graced her with a bow. “But your betrothed owes a doctor something for helping Queen Regina.”

Gold tensed. She assumed it was because of Regina’s name. “You’re not interrupting too much. We were just headed to breakfast. Are you hungry, traveler?”

“Not from the journey, Your Majesty, thank you. But,” Jefferson removed his large top hat. He reached in and retrieved a small, hand held mirror. “This is from Queen Regina as a wedding present to thank him for his work.” 

“Oh? What work?”

Before Belle could take it, Gold snatched it. He conjured a silver box that was decorated of the finest jewels Belle had ever seen. 

“It was ingenious, actually.” Jefferson praised, taking the box and placing it in his hat. “Tricking the Queen into thinking we could actually-”

Before Jefferson could finish the sentence he was sent away with a raise of Gold’s hand. Belle looked to him for an explanation. “You lied to Regina? The one they call the Evil Queen?”

“You’re sleeping with me and worry about her not being good?” 

She withdrew and crossed her arms over her chest. “If she finds out, it’s you and my kingdom in her fire. Explain.”

“Shouldn’t we deal with one thing at a time?”

“That’s exactly why you need to tell me right now. She will harm everything in her path and that includes me.” 

“Oh, you’ll be fine!” He was slipping back into the flamboyant personality. He was lying to her. Worry placed itself nestled into his side of her emotions. She narrowed her eyes, impatience overpowering him.

“I lied to her so I can be a step closer in finding my son.” He finally relented. 

“I thought you were training her.” 

“Lying to her helped her get ready to control and learn her abilities!” He granted himself, but she wasn’t any more happy hearing that. “It would help me find my son. Belle, you know I’m the Dark One and I’m capable of terrible things.”

She stopped saying anything and fixed him with a warning stare. He began to explain about how he created the Evil Queen using what her mother already had done. He made Regina hate Snow White after the death of a stable boy named Daniel. He made Regina fester in that hate until she could take a heart and crush it in her palm. Belle remembered when he was away and it made her sick. It wasn’t him being away. It was his use of dark magic. As if she couldn’t feel anymore anger towards him in that moment, he told her with a look of regret he wasn’t feeling about how he made Regina think they could bring her gone lover back from the dead once more. In an instant, Belle was no longer able to feel what he was feeling. That didn’t worry her. The one thing she wanted in this world was a maybe of seeing her mother again. She knew what that pain was. She knew exactly what Regina was going through and could imagine how it felt to have the possibility ripped into shreds. Because of him. Because of the man she was supposed to love unconditionally.

“Leave. I want you gone from this castle. I want you gone from my kingdom. I don’t know how you were able to convince me that you had a heart capable of love, but you can take your emptiness, your horribleness and leave.” She spat at him through gritted teeth.

“You don’t mean that.” Gold’s face fell and he placed a hand over his ribs where her emotion was supposed to be.

“I have nothing but contempt for you. I mean every word. Get. Out.” She was visibly struggling to keep herself from yelling at him.

“Belle-!”

“Now, Rumpelstiltskin! Guards! Take him out and make sure he can never get back in!” 

They were swarming and she knew that with the warning he could have gone away. Gold remained for a moment staring back at her with the most pained expression she had ever seen in his life. He mouthed the words she would have been overjoyed to hear an hour ago right before disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke. That was when Belle felt that her face had been stained with tears. She looked around at the guards who were confused. They asked for her order.

“Get my carriage. I have to see Queen Regina before he does.”

As the horse ran all the way to the Evil Queen’s castle, she knew in her gut that it was too late. The skies suddenly grew darker and people were cowering in fear into their homes. She called for them to stop and sent the driver home on horse to his family. Belle unlatched the other one and mounted it, leaving the carriage abandoned to the side of the road. Into the cloud of smoke she went. In the far distance, she could hear a woman’s cry out in pain. Belle stopped. She closed her eyes, hugged her horse’s neck. Everything went black. It was done. Whatever Rumpelstiltskin had needed Regina for was over.


	10. Chapter 10

Belle dusted off her skirt and retrieved the lasagna from the oven. She slipped it into a Tupperware box and used the lid with a few holes in it so it could cool down on the way over. She and her father had worked late in Game of Thorns to get ready for the get ready months. It was only mid-September. Even December wasn’t their busiest time of the year. The flower shop had never done too well on any day of the year but it kept Moe busy. He was getting on up there in age and his work was something to do. Belle ran the library, but even that was voluntary and didn’t bring in a lot of money. This was only a worry for the end of the month when they had to owe money to their landlord. Mr Gold wasn’t exactly a forgiving or understanding man. Belle could not remember a time that she’d ever seen him smile. Or look at her for more than a brief 0.05 seconds. Every time they met glances he immediately turned the other way.

She wondered idly if he would be there tonight. Two weeks ago, Mayor Mills adopted a son and was introducing him to the town tonight. It was a potluck and everybody was invited. People were afraid of her power, but no one ever said anything to her face. Belle considered the two of them friends. At least, more than Regina was friends with anybody else. Regina was probably just exhibiting common courtesy and that was all. Belle had chosen to go to this dinner thing tonight to show they could be. She stood with her in solidarity and not out of fear. There were few things that truly scared Belle French and another human being was not one of them. She knew they were deeper creatures than visible emotions allowed. 

Ruby introduced her to Mary Margaret, although Belle knew the elementary school teacher and that she was the only one in the entire town personally not invited. Everyone else had gotten an invitation. Belle was polite, she wasn’t going to get into the town drama and gossip. She set her lasagna where Regina designated and then went to see the little boy. Henry Daniel Mills was absolutely precious. While he was adopted and she would never know who the parents were, she couldn’t help but feel like he took after the father. Regina was a happy and proud parent and Belle couldn’t feel more glad if the child were her own. Perhaps this child was the one that Regina needed to open up and be a people person. If not, then that was fine too. It was just who Regina was. A little scary, but nothing harmful.

“You are going to make such an excellent mother.” Belle complimented. She could already tell by the way Regina was with Henry.

Regina’s eyes looked as though they were watering. When she responded, it was almost a mutter as though she didn’t want anyone else to here. “Thank you.”

“I brought some books. Nothing about development for the parent, but I can get you one if you’d like.” Belle presented the comically large sized children books. 

“That’s delightfully not-presumptuous of you. Go put them with your tray.” She nodded towards the kitchen.

Belle went that way and pulled the books from her bag to spread across the table in a decorative manner. Something she was exceptional at by now. She spent hours reorganize books in her library. These were some of her favorites and the most checked out children’s books. She had copies of them all, so it wasn’t that big of a deal and she didn’t have to pay for any more. Any time she tried, UPS and FedEx got lost somehow so she tried to avoid it. Nearby the books and lasagna she brought, there was a small little plate of meat pie. One person had taken a piece, so she helped herself. It warmed her inside and she smiled as she savored the taste. She could picture herself curled up by the fire during the holiday season with a well made piece of the stuff. She searched for the lid to the container and was pleasantly surprised reading ‘Gold’ on it. She cut out a square of her lasagna and felt it only gracious to find and offer him a piece of the lot that was left. Someone had gotten into it.

Mr Gold was out in the living room and Belle felt a deep sense of hope blossom within her chest. This was the moment he was going to see she didn’t think of him as anybody else did. He wasn’t a monster. He was a businessman and a wonderful one at that. If he didn’t scare people into paying him back, they would run him into the ground like they tried to do with Granny. They were both tough as nails and that did not scare her too much. She walked up to Mr Gold, who was talking with Regina, and smiled at the two. Her features brightened as he turned to look at her, but just as every time before, he excused himself and left. Belle felt herself deflate.

“Don’t worry about it.” Regina passed off, taking the plate of lasagna from Belle’s hands. “He’s just a grumpy old man.” 

“Grumpy old men deserve friendship just as well.” Belle defended, lightheartedly. Regina shifted Henry to her chest. The baby was asleep, but she didn’t want to put him down in a crib for anything. 

“I agree. Why don’t you go after him? I think he said something about going home, though. Run fast, Ms French.” 

Belle nodded and left out of Mayor Mills’s home without lasagna to offer as a icebreaker. She saw him leaned against his infamous black Cadillac, his mysterious driver nowhere in sight. She thought for a moment if he’d come actually as a guest in that case in lieu of business matters. That was rare. Particularly when it came to Regina. Belle had never been in the room when it happened, but the stories that the two were terrible rivals, and also some kind of friends, was all over Storybrooke. This was a man which never showed any emotion in his face clearly frustrated by something. With it being right after showing her face, she worried he may really dislike her that much to become so distressed it made him ill. She stepped forward and dared to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright, Mr Gold?”

He straightened and cracked his neck. Then turned to face her. “Fine, Ms French. Go back to your party.”

“Well, I was going to ask you for the meat pie recipe you brought. It was delicious.” She smiled, but didn’t reach her heart. He cleared his throat and nodded, avoiding her still as she was in front of him.

“It’s a, uh. It’s a family recipe, I don’t quite know it offhand.” 

He was lying to her. She looked at the ground and muttered a simple- “Oh.” 

There was a small pause before Mr Gold spoke again. “I can get it for you. It’s at my house. I’ll bring it by the library Monday.”

Somewhere down the street a saxophone played a familiar tune. Belle smiled in its direction, then to Mr Gold. “Care to dance?”

“Uh, sure.” 

Belle took his hand in hers and lead him towards the middle of the street. Mr Gold twirled, then held her against his chest. For a little while, he went through the motions as though he weren’t really there with her. She was pleased to be with Mr Gold. The dancing was more of stepping in rhythm while in a warm embrace. It was comfortable. She closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying his warmth as they were pressed to each other. During her very brief lapse in judgment, she reached up and caressed his cheek. She felt something like tears on his face. She grew worried for him. Mr Gold dipped her back and she gasped, chest heaving and heart thudding in mixture seeing him in pain. It was so strong that she swore she could feel it as if her own. She watched the emotion drain from his face as he stood her and touched his skin. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. What could possibly be troubling him? He had everything: money, power, notoriety. Was he…alone? He had been gentle with her. He was different with her. After blatantly ignoring her for a long time. She was at a bit of an impasse. She was drawn to him, wasn’t she?

“I would like very much to kiss you, Mr Gold. Would that be alright?”

“That would be…I’d be honored.”

She may as well had been under a sleeping curse for the last few years because as soon as their mouths touched sparks shot all over her body. Gold’s affection towards her burst in like an unwelcome guest and set up home behind the safety bars of her rib cage. The dam that blocked the river of her love collapsed open and she hoped and prayed he was feeling every bit of this as much as she was. Belle wasn’t even one hundred percent on why it was this moment she thought was going to die if she didn’t kiss him right then immediately. As sloppy and as noisy it was, there were few things that ever made her feel as loved. He was pulling her closer. His fingers tangled in her hair and she swore he acted as though he’d been waiting for this moment his entire life. Belle didn’t move too far when it was over. Gold didn’t make her either. She nestled into his neck.

“I barely know you. We haven’t ever said more than a word to each other.” She pointed out.

“I think you know me better than anyone even still.”

“It may be best if we get to know each other better before I kiss you again.”

“I ignored you because I feel inept in your presence.”

Belle looked towards him. “I enjoy looking at you.” 

Mr Gold leaned forward and pecked her lips as they looked at each other. “I missed you.”

Her body jerked in his arms as every atom awoke. Belle French looked to the man in her arms and hugged his neck tight. “Rumpelstiltskin.”

“I don’t understand. You’re not supposed to remember.”

“Is this the curse? Sending us to this new place where it wouldn’t matter if we were married before or not? Where you can ignore me and go about your own life as though I don’t exist?”

Regardless of how upset she was, Belle still clutched onto him.

“I remember you every second of every day. You didn’t want me around anymore. You were going to Regina to tell her.” Mr Gold held her cheek. Intensity matching intensity. Volcano meeting hurricane.

“She deserves to know. Have you seen the way she treats Snow White here?” 

“I don’t make it a note to see how she treats anyone else other than you. You and your father are still together. You have your library.”

“But not you to make everything right when it feels like the end. Why did I stop feeling what you do?”

“Your anger with me was pure hatred. It overpowered your love and you didn’t love me for that moment. Soulmates don’t feel like that.”

“Tell her. Then I can be yours.”

“She’ll kill me and no one will care.”

Belle kissed his chin too long to not be a goodbye kiss. She pulled back, giving his hand a squeeze before turning away and leaving.

Monday morning after a weekend of fighting of tears in her bed and playing drinking games with Leroy, Belle went into work. She was running late and surprised to find that the doors to the library were already unlocked. Inside on the circulation desk was a recipe for meat pie as well as an apology note from Mr Gold. He said it was done. He told Regina the truth and if Belle didn’t see him anytime that day, Regina had done it. She dropped the piece of paper and started out of the library. She needed to hear it from him. Just as she opened the door, there he stood. Belle looked at him, hoping against hope that it was true. He nodded and welcomed her into him with open arms. She gave him a kiss to say hello. 

Belle couldn’t tell anyone what was actually going on (they would think she was crazy if she wanted to anyway). Mr Gold had a plan that would take a long time to complete. In that process, she moved in with him and there they stayed together. They would find his son and bring their family happily ever after together. 

After Harry turned eleven, Belle dropped everything and ran to tell Gold about the yellow punch bug that entered their town. 

Just in time for the wedding of Belle French and Mr Gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took such a turn from the original prompt i'm sorry.
> 
> Belle was not put in the asylum because it was a request on Rumpelstiltskin's part towards Regina (instead of the 'say please' clause). 
> 
> In my head canon: Rumpelstiltskin made True Love's Kiss not work for the citizens that were affected by the curse. Him kissing Belle, I feel, would break her only from it. Since Emma kissed Henry at the end of season one _before_ Gold brought magic to Storybrooke and it worked.
> 
> if you did enjoy this (or any of my stories) please check out my tumblr: sunlitflowers. i'm in a bad financial situation and need any help i can get.


End file.
